John Cheese and Open closed maybe Checkouts

People don't understand me.
I don't mean in a wishy washy 'feeling sorry for myself because I am so special',way - I genuinely mean - People don't understand me. They don't have a clue what the hell I am saying. This can be a problem in my job - where I am trying to techsplain (like mansplain, but done by a technician) how their new phones work, what they can do and then try to ascertain how the hell the customer wants them to work in the best possible way for their business. It can be funny, frustrating and also hilarious sometimes..... Its all about communication and having been in the communication field for over 30 years, you would think I am good at it.

I am - at least I think I am. Because after watching John Cleese on stage last night in Winnipeg, explaining why there is no hope for humanity, I am not so sure....

 One of the reasons for there being no hope, IS THAT NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING. We are all just making shit up as we go along and to make it worse, we don't know, that we don't know what we are doing. I think I am good at my job, but so does everyone else and the worst thing is that everyone who thinks that is wrong - so we are fucked.

The show was good and to see a legend such as Mr Cleese on stage was a once in a lifetime experience. He is now, and has been for years a genius at getting an idea across - whether it being a deceased parrot or the idea that every sperm is sacred - There are many ideas, explained by Mr Cleese that I saw as a child with my dad and still remember today.   One of the old favourite is attached here....It is called 'The Class Sketch' and stars Cleese, Ronnie Barker - one of the funniest comedians ever and his sidekick   - Ronnie Corbett, one of  our old family favourites and possibly my mum with a hat on...

One thing that annoyed me at the John Cleese show, is that the announcer who introduced John Cleese onto the stage first said John Cleese (Rhyming with peace) not John Cleese (Rhyming with Peas) Just a small error, but at least it was corrected for the rest of the show, although I am sure the gangly comedian wouldn't be happy at his name being mispronounced.

The show was the end of a good and long weekend - A party to celebrate Pat and Erika's engagement on Friday night - a trip to the cinema to see Hamlet - Live on stage  - on Saturday afternoon and finally John Cleese on Sunday night.

The whole weekend brought my thoughts about to the subject of communication - Especially the Shakespearean play that took up 3 hours of our Saturday. I expected to be confounded as to what was going on, but it was quite excellent.

Benidict Cumberpump as Hamlet, showed just what can be done in the art of communication - Using his art as an actor to convey the story to a heathen scumbag like me, even though I couldn't understand a lot of what was said with all the hitherings, thou ists, wherefores and doths!

So, I thought of some of the things I have seen recently that can be explained away by poor communication, or a lack of understanding of what you are supposed to be doing.... because generally people are shit.

Firstly, when I was posting about John Cleese the other night I typed -

John Cleese - Live at Centennial Hall.
Facebook corrected it to read:-

JOHN CHEESE - LOVE AT CENTENNIAL HELL.
Whoever works on the spellcheck should be sacked (or me)

Whilst looking through the example questions for a possible Canadian Citizenship test, this question comes up...

What the fuck?

Points to Note - 1.There are no a,b,c,d choices.
                          2.If there were then the A and C choice would actually be answer C itself.
                          3. What the actual fuck!



This is the electronics department in a local Walmart store.... Do you see anything weird?
Zoom in if you like and don't look at the 2nd photo without trying to spot it...

Do you give up? OK here's a closer view of the same aisle....

Huh?

Yep - Handy 'non electronic' brushes for cleaning a Grill or BBQ. What the buggery are they doing in this aisle!?

Canadian Superstore is no better in my opinion..

They have these signs at most stores...

Checkouts always open!

Brilliant  - No queuing because all checkout lanes OPEN GUARANTEED!!

Look closer though and you see....

All open  - Unless they aren't!

One you can try yourself here - It works for Buffy but not for me. If you type Hitler, it auto corrects to hider and then haller. Perhaps he really is still alive and hiding in a hall somewhere and only the spellcheck geeks know...

This next one is a locally known discrepancy round these parts....
There is this old store....

If you look closely then this sign is stuck on the door....

There is no explanation other than that. Nobody knows who actually lives or works there - But it isn't Gordon. (Take down the sign or cover it up you knobs)

There are many many more I could post - But I won't because its time for bed and Missus McDavey and her belly bump of baby bits are looking a bit tired. Its been a long day!

I shall head off on another search for shit to post on here soon. Something will pop into my unfettered mind - probably while trying to sleep or talking to someone really important. But don't worry - I will save it in my small purse of messed up memories and reproduce it for you in written type, so you can look and translate it into thoughts, feelings and hormones that will mess up your mind as much as mone. No, don't thank me. I do this all for me  - Not you! Or do I!?!?


Yarp.