Sunday, August 19, 2018

Suicide bear, Bombers, Baldy beard and Baby beer pong

Unbelievable I tell you! I just sat down after working my arse off all day. Tidied the garage, took the old paint pots to the recycling depot, sorted out loads of stuff and finally  - FINALLY - sat down to update the universe on the latest news from the extra long summer and what happens? Buffy walks in with a request - 'Can you put the chicken in the oven?' Just because she is carrying the half baby/half person being! She could have dropped Super HAN, in the oven I suppose, but I HAD TO GET UP and do it. Bloody hell. life is a nightmare!!! Anyway, now I am sat down again I can finally begin. Unless she wants something else doing for her... Bloody lazy..........

CHILDREN'S BEER PONG.

Imagine the scene - Dad, 'Uncle' Matt and all the boys from the pub/club/Uni are all messing about in the basement getting shitfaced and being arseholes, when down comes 5 year old Sebastien. 'Daddy, what are you doing with the ping pong balls?' and why is Uncle Matt naked and has been icky sicky'? At this point, dad should probably take Sebastian upstairs and away from the raucous debauchery. But no! Stop! Now, even though little Sebastian's hands are too small to pick up full sized ping pong balls and he is too little to see into the big red cups, he can still join in the fun! Introducing kids beer pong!!!

Its real!
Yep, with tiny cups and miniature ping ping balls, you too can teach your 5 year old how to party!! What a strange idea¬!

BOMBING
Its been over 6 weeks since I skived off work, had a burger king and watched as the love of my life pushed out the 2nd love of my life. The 6 weeks have been hectic, tiring, brilliant, exhausting, amazing and tiring. One thing we hadn't yet done was to go out as a couple  - until this Friday. 

Susan was in town and offered to babysit the sprog, whilst me and Buffy took the night off to go out have a few beers and watch a Bombers game at Investors Group Field. We decided that we would try to get to a game every season as last year we loved it .We beat Edmonton almost exactly a year ago and we loved the atmosphere, the beer snake and the beers! So when we found out the Susan would be in town, we booked tickets, fed the thing and were dropped off just near the ground. After a bit of a flap when my ticket couldn't be read, we finally got into the stadium and took our seats with a couple of beers  - expecting a glorious Bombers win. Unfortunately, the Bombers had a pretty dire off night and were beaten 44-21 by the Red Blacks, so it didn't turn out as good as last year. But it was military appreciation night, so there was a fly past (actually 2 flypasts) and with the nice weather a few beers and no crying baby to look after we had a really good night out. 
Outside...

Inside


Buffy rings my bell.....
                                                          Here's a video of the flypast


SUICIDE BEAR

So, over the last few weeks I wondered what it would be like to be Hannah. What does she see when she is doing her stuff? The only way to find out would be to give her camera and record things. So i spent a couple of hours showing her how to work my camera and take videos and photos with it. Unfortunately her hands were just too small to work the buttons (At least she can play beer pong now though). So I did the 2nd best thing... I got some superglue and stuck a camera to her forehead. I took it off after a while though as she couldn't lift here head - Don't worry the skin will grow back! But while she was wearing it she did manage to take some good photos of what life looks like for her.....

I took her for a walk in the stroller

She likes taking photos of her own feet...

and of Buffy's ear...
Her 2nd photo of Buffy was better

This morning she wore her football socks to the pub, lay on the bar and watched the game....

The best and weirdest thing she took a photo of though was Sue Bear. Or to use her or his full name - Suicide bear!!  Whilst at the cabin last week, a bear was tied onto the lamp above Hannah's head for her to look at and play with. This bear though, was tied by the neck - like a noose - and hung above Hannah. I an not sure she will ever recover from the views she had that day - and I think she may well be a bit weird in the mind because she seemed to love watching the sad bear take its own life just a out of reach....



The same weekend I had the pleasure of dog sitting Hunter - the dog that belongs to Erika and Pat. They were having their Bachelor and Bachelorette weekends and I picked up Hunter on the Friday evening - spent the night watching TV with him and then enjoyed a nice drive out to the lake on the Saturday morning. He is a really nice playful but easy dog to look after and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him. We are now best mates and I would look after him again anytime!

In the garden

Watching telly.

Yeah, he is supposed to be on the towel! HAAHAA
Before I end with a montage of baby photos, I just wanted to show you my face!! Its the same face I have always had, but now its even stranger that it usually is! A few months ago, about 3/4 of the way through the pregnancy - I noticed a small bald spot in my stubble. Over time it has grown and spread and now I have two prominent baldy spots as well as a 3rd less prominent bit on my neck. Apparently its called Alopecia Areata and although there is no treatment for it, the hairs should grow back sometime soon. Its thought to be cause by stress, but I haven't been feeling stressed - so I don't really know why it has occurred. The only stressful thing I have at the moment is having bald spots of my face - so maybe its causes itself!! Anyway, its bloody annoying to look at my own face now (even more than normal) so I hope it goes away soon. At least with my failing eyesight ( I have new glasses and contacts) for most of the time I cant see it clearly!!

Here's a look at it if you are interested...





PHOTOS OF A CRICKET, THE SUN AND A BABY

I had a wander around the city last week one lunchtime, when the smoke from Wildfires out west made Winnipeg feel like being on Mars. The shy was a weird orange hue all day and it was so think you could actually look at the sun through the smog. There was a strange atmosphere in town and so I took a few photos of the sky and some of the buildings such as the new True North Square - which although it isn't finished yet, you can now wander through and take a look. 







I also found an inquisitive cricket sitting on the door hinge at a place I was working.  When I tried to move him so he didn't hurt himself, he hid behind the hinge and stared right at me!




Finally, thanks for waiting - Here's the bit you have been looking for - Photos of that kid that seems to have moved into our house and likes to party when we want to sleep. She is also now starting to take the piss by mimicking us. Sticking her tongue out, smiling a lot and giggling. She tries to escape if we put her on the floor, but I think she is mostly drunk, because she spends most of the day sleeping, pissing herself and cant walk or even hardly move at all. In fact she tries to crawl everywhere but cant even do that properly. I think she has a drinking problem because she screams every time she needs a drink! Bloody baby....

Pissed again

Attitude

Just been sick on the floor

She didn't even watch the movie

Lying on the pub bar at 11am!! Pisshead!!

She is laughing at us!

Definitely laughing at us!!


                                                      Asleep in the swing chair after another long night!


                                           Probably having a crack dream -cant control her own arms. Loser.

Friday, July 27, 2018

Car, phone and Super Han(s)

Stop right there.....If you are looking for baby stuff - then you should scroll down a bit. I'm not saying that anything else is more important than the small, almost human like monster that we created, but this is MY blog, not hers.

I have been painstakingly writing this bollocks for 8 bloody years now - in fact its almost exactly 8 bloody years - to the day - since the first pile of typed garbage, poor gramma (see what I did there?? Genius!!) and even worse spellung emanated from my jelly mould. I own this shit and could even be said to be slightly proud of the rubbish I waste my time writing.

I know that family and friends in Australia, Dubai, UK, Canada and even Wigan look forward to each and every post so that they can read it quickly and hope that the time till the next post gets even longer. I wouldn't read this shit, but you lot do - Even someone in Bloody Bangladesh apparently reads it, so that proves that people are weird just about everywhere. So anyway, its my train set and that bloody woman to be can wait till she has hands big enough to type her own bloody blog before she gets headline status (Saying all that, I did change the background from pie and chips to a photo of her, so, well, you know,, just saying.....)

Things that I done in the last few weeks.

Aside from the usual drinking, eating, working, sleeping and stuff its been a pretty good summer so far. If you remember a few weeks back, Telexperts had arranged for a new car for me only for Hyundai to get the wrong colour! I have been waiting ever since for the new model to arrive and just last week it did! It was worth the wait....

The old 2015 Hyundai Accent I had was good. But the new 2018 is just so much better. Hyundai have done a really good job of making the new model feel better quality and bigger. It is the first car I have had that has android auto and  apple car play, with a big 7inch screen to show the integrated maps and the rear view camera so you can see exactly what you are hitting when you reverse! They have also raised the car an inch or two and somehow gained 3 or 4 inches in the boot, so I can fit even more rubbish in there!! The stereo and speakers have a much rounder sound and the seats are so comfortable!! The outside styling is also, well, more sexy! It was worth the wait. Here are a few comparison photos from the old to the new car...

First the old....





 

Then the new...






As well as the new car I also got myself a new phone. I no longer need the greatest, newest cell phone, but I did want t upgrade my 2 1/2 year old Galaxy S7. So I went to the phone shop hoping to pay $150 or so for a Pixel2 and hopefully keep the same contract. I would then sell my old S7 for $150 and end up with a free phone! A good plan I thought.....

When I got to the store the nice salesman told me it would be $500 for a Pixel2 with the same deal I was already on. Bugar I thought...... But then he said I could get it for free, if I paid $10 extra a month. Not really what I wanted. But then he added that there was a deal on today and I could get $15 a month off - for the entire 2 years of the contract. I did some metal maths.... $10 more, plus $15 less, free phone - That means eureka......a free phone for $5 less a month that I pay now. Was it a mistake I asked. Was there a catch I asked? Was it Christmas (or winter holidays for all you non Christians) I asked? Nope.  A genuine, sounds so good there must be something wrong with it deal! I walked out with a new phone and a big smile on my old, saggy face. I then sold the S7 for $240 to a nice English bloke who lives just outside Winnipeg and the smile got bigger!

What my new phone looks like! Yay


Here we go baby lovers......
          BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
          BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
          BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
          BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
          BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT

There is no baby at the moment. Buffy, the mother, has taken the tiny pumpkin off to the cabin for the week for a little holiday - So, like a slightly strange Macauley Culkin, I am home alone! This means I can do all the things I want to do. Clean the oven, vacuum the floors, tidy the garden empty the bins and even cook real food. All the stuff I cant do when the 'baaaaaaaaaby' is here because she is sooo special! Bloody baby. I also get to drink beers and am currently cooking a homemade meat and potato pie with curry sauce and fat chips for my dinner!

For all of you that want to know though - The baby is just amazing. She is great. Even when screaming and poo(p)ing she is great. I wouldn't have guessed that I could fall in love with someone else other that Buffy. But I can and I have as much as Buffy has done too.

After a couple of days where she wasn't getting enough milk, we bought a pump and this helped Buffy's milk, 'come in', so now Hannah is growing fast and is over an inch bigger that when she was born and has just been weighed at 7lbs. She is sleeping pretty well  - some nights we had had 6 or even 7 hours sleep. She is also strong - She can almost lift her own head and tries ti crawl when put on her tummy although she doesn't have the technique yet. When she lies on my thighs, she is able to push herself up with her legs and has nearly pushed herself off a couple of times.

Here's what you want - a few photos of Super Han....









Super Hands (Super Han - Get it?)


We wondered who she looks like... some people say me, some others say she looks like Buffter.... I cant decide myself... Here's us when we were babies...


Buff


Me - or maybe Gareth or Chris!
Anyway, she is doing great and definitely takes after Buffy when eating - she eats a lot!! haaha

One thing is she is always on her best behaviour - Not once yet has she been a crazy baby in front of anyone else. She sleeps, smiles and generally look damn cute. But like any normal baby, she can be a loud, screaming banshee. I needed to show you proof of this - so here it is. This is a 2 minute video, but this night the screaming went on for a full hour....


She is also really funny as well though...


Wait for it......



Cool. We made it to the end. Well done you! Now you may close your eyes and relax, safe in the knowledge that there is indeed water on Mars and that apparently an Egyptian zoo has been passing off painted donkeys as Zebras. It was in the news so must be true.

Night night.