Sunday, June 17, 2018

Crinkle Crankle Truth? truth!

Two weeks go by so quickly nowadays, I remember being a small child about 490 years ago and back then 2 weeks lasted at LEAST 2 weeks. Now 2 weeks lasts about 4 days. Its like someone sucked all the time out of the world and replaced it with a fog of blurry memories composed of a mish mash of fleeting glimpses with people and places flashing by through the window of a train that will forever gain speed until the blur is a haze and the haze turns a deep dark black of nothing less than nothing ness. At least then we will all get some rest.

2 weeks is now how long you have to wait for your beans to heat in the microwave. This is what 2 weeks looks like....

Are my beans done yet Jim?
Irrespective of how fast things seem to take and how long things last I still have a few thing-a-me-jobs to add to this opus of mediocrity that have taken place these past 14 days or so.

BABY ALERT. LERT ABABY. TRELA YBAB.  BABY ALERT. LERT ABABY. TRELA YBAB.

So in case you didn't know, Buffy is pregnant. Quite heavily and almost 100% pregnant. She is however like a Hollywood pregnant - That is, she hasn't put on any weight anywhere except where the baby is. Literally, from behind you cannot tell! Its so weird! Although for her, weird is normal.
One of the things that we found out was that nature seems to be attracted to her belly - Like when we went for a walk in the park and after walking through some bushes she found her belly covered in prickly things...


We had been out taking photos in the park as an excuse to get out of the house on a warm Friday evening. It also made us realize that if we want to get some embarrassing photos of the baby to annoy them when they get to being a teenager, we need a new camera. So we started some research and found a really well priced and well reviewed mirror less camera. We tried it out for a few days but to be honest it was just too complicated for what we wanted. We want a camera that's quick to use and take photos but is good enough to take good quality ones. This camera was great, but we spent hours just trying to work out all the settings and choices without being able to understand most of it. Plus the camera was just a bit too big to fit in a pocket, so I would never have taken it out anywhere.

Then the very next day I saw a nice compact camera with all the features we wanted. Buffy at the same time was looking online and found the exact same camera as I was looking at and texted me about it. We ordered one online and after spending a few days playing with it, it is exactly what we want. Good quality, simple to use, touchscreen, WIFI, Bluetooth and NFC connections and pretty good quality photos. Here's a few examples of photos we took on it today, just quick easily taken pics...






I took all of these - even the one with me in as it can remote using a phone! Sweet.

I told you in a previous post about getting a new car from work.... well, that went a bit tits up....

Here is a photo of my old car..
A nice silver colour

The new car was supposed to be the same colour and model, but the lease company are waiting for the new 2018 model to come out and didn't have any. So they spoke to a 2nd company who said they had a silver car that they could have. So the agreement was made and the car was sent to have decals stuck on before I picked it up. But when it arrived it looked like this....

Its not far off, but is actually lake silver not silver silver. I like the colour, but the bosses at work don't They want all 12 fleet cars to be the exact same colour and so weren't happy. After a couple of phone calls, it was decided I would take this car for 4 to 6 weeks and replace it with the brand new 2018 model when they arrive in July. Nice, so I get a new car with new gadgets and the same colour as everyone else. It all sounds great to me!

Add that to the new phone that work just gave me and its been a nice couple of weeks for me and new toys!

The final story today takes me back to the church I worked in a couple of weeks back. I went back to do the phone training and noticed a post up on one of the walls. The kids were allowed to ask questions about religion and one of them asked - Is the bible true? I will now just post the answer to the question that was put onto the wall. I will let you read it and form your own opinion...

That's it for now. A simple and easy post for me. Things will get more complicated pretty soon. In fact things will get complicated in about 1.5 beans worth of microwave time (3 weeks)as Buffy is due to have a small person fall out of her about then!

Incidentally, having searched the Internet you would not be surprised at the weird names that some people call your lady garden... here's a few I found to describe that part of a lady where storks leave babies...
....
front bum
crickle crankle
map of Tasmania
fairy cake
bearded clam
french withered pear
phoenix nest
Lady's low toupee
Banana basket

My personal favourite I think is Schw√∂bli

Anyway, that's it for now. Time for a beer...

Night night, see you soon. 



Friday, June 1, 2018

Vacuuming Beijing in homemade kneepads

Its June. June!!!!!!
Bloody hell it seems like about 4 days ago we were in the middle of winter and it was minus 4675 degrees, skin was sticking to the inside of my dual layered winter trousers (they don't exist) and if you open your eyes when outside your eyeballs freeze and turn into novelty golf balls.

Yet, now its June. We have had days and days of over 30 degree heat, humidity like the inside of a sauna and sunshine that came all the way...from....the...sun. But alas, the summer is over and outside now resembles the grey dark days of 1940's Birmingham, with grey clouds behind grey rain on top of grey streets. Its very grey. Here is a photo of Winnipeg today...

Winnipeg June 1st 2018.
 OK, that might be actually be a photo of a bloke with a vacuum of some sort, near the Birds Nest Stadium in Beijing, China. But it COULD be Winnipeg.....

Anyway, its dull outside here today, but luckily I have a job that allows me to gather my belongings in my steel shelled rocket ship and travel about having adventures. A bit like Columbo, Madge Gellen or even the famous Captain Cock. But I will hazard a guess and bet you 5p that none of these or any other famous explorers of past, present or future have had as much adventure as me this week

(Cue weird wibbly wobbly time dilation thing like in Wayne's world......)


So, yesterday I had an experience with both sides of religion. The good and the bad, Light and dark..  - You decide which is which.

I was helping install a phone system in the basement of a church - We had already pulled some cat5 cable (Actually made from 5 cats)  through the ceiling/floor joists to where the system was to be located but to actually mount the kit onto the wall we had to move a full size crucifix - Made of wood, with polystyrene painted brown to give some texture and mounted on a steel plate stand it stood about 7 feet tall and looked.....'USED', it definitely wasn't your average, nice clean religious 'god is great' crucifix that you normally see. More like a 'We calmed the bible down so as not to scare anyone, but it was really brutal, dirty and a bit like mad max' kind of crucifix. - I guess it might have been used in a realistic adult Easter celebration of some sort. I was tempted to try it for size, but I know some people may have found it off putting and rude, so I just took some photos...



So that was that. Afterward I had to crawl under the building next to the church to pull some cable for one of the phones. It reminded me of the old army days, when, because of my diminutive size, I was always the one to climb onto a roof, under a building or be thrown over a wall (This actually happened many times). In Afghanistan once, I had a similar job pulling cables under a building where we knew there to be Scorpions and Camel spiders. All you could hear was the scratching of claws on stones as you worked in the sticky hot darkness. Fun.
Luckily, the 'Hell', under this church in rural Manitoba, wasn't quite as bad - Dusty and dark, but with my homemade knee pads (Buffy's old bra, a t shirt and some Velcro) a head torch and gloves all that happened was I got dirty and sweaty. It was fun though and better than working in an office all day...

Under

Not too comfortable

Homemade knee pads - Really Comfortable

So that was a nice way to spend a morning! When we finished we saw a blackboard that the church kids had drawn on so we added ourselves to the picture..


Us pulling cable (Chalk on blackboard)
Also earlier in the week I had an install in what used to be a bank or money vault. The building was a grain store years ago, but has been turned into offices. One office still had the big steel door that used to lead to a vault of some sort and downstairs, the phone equipment had the same. It would make a great place for locking 'people you disagree with'...



The entrance to the upstairs office


and the downstairs vault...
In the same building I found a sign that would have been used in Iraq to let the locals know not to get too close to US Military vehicles - I have no idea what it was doing or how it made it to Winnipeg..


Also - Is this hand drier automatic or not!? (Clue - It isn't...)


In other news we finally got to clean up the sealant around the bath (Yeah, I know  - How interesting) It made a bit of a mess, but the bath normally looks like this when I get out..


Buffy also tried on some weird wrap type clothes with Ross the alien and and put some other tiny clothes into drawers, boxes and onto tiny hangers - This has nothing to do with babies, its just a phase she is going through.


I also took a picture of a train (from above) the sky (from below) and us (from the front and slightly down)

Us from slightly down

A train from above

The sky (from below) 
These captions for these photos are lazy and didn't want to do what I told them. I suppose with a childish child like small child on the way, I should either be more coaxing in my instructions or just live with it. Ho hum.

Looking forward, Buffy has just over 5 weeks till she finishes work to take a lazy holiday for a year or so. She is soooo looking forward to it and so am I as we can start to meet up for lunch and stuff!

Also, next week my old car goes back to Hyundai where they will clean it up and sell it off to the highest bidder. I will be generously allowed to choose from virtually any car currently available on earth. I am thinking of something like one of these beauties....

Cheap on tires and a free watchdog.

Watch out for foxes (Ask Gareth)

Just crap (Ask Chris)

Egg roll!!!
I will show you a real photo image still picture captured with electrickery and wizardry of my new super fast travelling machine next week when I have one... It will be worth waiting for.

Honest.

Yarp.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Nowt much

Monday 21st May 2018. Its a lovely day today. But also a sad one. Not only is it the last day of May Long Weekend and we have to go back to the city later after a really nice relaxing weekend at the lake, but when we go back to the city it will feel different than when we left.

On Friday, when we left we hoped that the Jets would win the games on Friday night and Sunday afternoon, still keeping us in the run for the Stanley Cup. But alas, the Golden Knights and their miraculous goalie, won both games, finally ending the Jets best ever season and we return to a city that now has to wait until September for the start of a new season. We all know the Jets punched above their weight this season and it was awesome from start to end, but its sad that now the excitement is all over, there wont be another whiteout till next year and we all have to go back to getting on with out lives, without stopping every other day to watch the Jets play as we have done since early April.

We had some good times though and here are a few of the photos I took of the supporters and costumes, whilst enjoying the whiteouts..














Add to all this the disappointment of United losing the FA Cup final on Saturday and its been a shitty weekend for sport. I must admit to being bored to tears with United for the last few weeks though. There seems to be no enjoyment from the players and that seems to manifest itself in the crowd too. I am finding the games tedious to watch and although I will continue to support them, I hope it changes for the better next season.

In other news Buffy had her final (Not final but don't ask) choir concert of the season last weekend. (I wasn't there on the final night, as I had gone the day before and was watching the Jets) and we hosted the after party at our house. A good night, with lots of booze, not a lot of singing which was a surprise, but a couple of slightly overly drunk people to look after before they all went home by about 3am.





It has been a quiet last few weeks. It really has been taken over with watching Hockey for the most amount of time. We have been testing things.... Oops I nearly forgot...

BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT  - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY

We have been testing things in preparation for when the thing arrives. The latest item being a baby video monitor. Now, we need one that works at home and also at the lake, where I sit writing this in the sunshine...

My actual view at the moment..



So, as I was saying - We need a monitor that works at home and at the lake. So we ordered 3 different models from Amazon to test out. It all went a bit Goldilocks....

The first one was just bad. Even in the same room as the camera, at home, it failed to work. It was sent back the very same day.

The second and third both worked equally as well as home giving us a range to the corner of the street so we brought them both to the lake to test.

Once here there was a clear winner. Surprisingly, its also the cheapest out of the 3 we had tested. It gives us enough distance between cabins and also has a good battery life. So the second one will be sent back to the Amazon Jungle tomorrow and the winner will be proudly displayed from an open top bus as we tour around Winnipeg receiving cheers and applause from a very polite crowd. There may even be a few whoops.

There isn't much else to say or tell you. I have started painting the window frames in the house and I noticed that the maternity store is next to a frilly underwear store. So I guess that, when a lady visits the frilly underwear store, she should take a look next door to see what could happen if she aint careful (Of course it could also help her out if she WANTS to shop at the maternity place)


Also - what happened here?
Home of Team Anada...nice
 .Slerp.