I have been painstakingly writing this bollocks for 8 bloody years now - in fact its almost exactly 8 bloody years - to the day - since the first pile of typed garbage, poor gramma (see what I did there?? Genius!!) and even worse spellung emanated from my jelly mould. I own this shit and could even be said to be slightly proud of the rubbish I waste my time writing.
I know that family and friends in Australia, Dubai, UK, Canada and even Wigan look forward to each and every post so that they can read it quickly and hope that the time till the next post gets even longer. I wouldn't read this shit, but you lot do - Even someone in Bloody Bangladesh apparently reads it, so that proves that people are weird just about everywhere. So anyway, its my train set and that bloody woman to be can wait till she has hands big enough to type her own bloody blog before she gets headline status (Saying all that, I did change the background from pie and chips to a photo of her, so, well, you know,, just saying.....)
Things that I done in the last few weeks.
Aside from the usual drinking, eating, working, sleeping and stuff its been a pretty good summer so far. If you remember a few weeks back, Telexperts had arranged for a new car for me only for Hyundai to get the wrong colour! I have been waiting ever since for the new model to arrive and just last week it did! It was worth the wait....
The old 2015 Hyundai Accent I had was good. But the new 2018 is just so much better. Hyundai have done a really good job of making the new model feel better quality and bigger. It is the first car I have had that has android auto and apple car play, with a big 7inch screen to show the integrated maps and the rear view camera so you can see exactly what you are hitting when you reverse! They have also raised the car an inch or two and somehow gained 3 or 4 inches in the boot, so I can fit even more rubbish in there!! The stereo and speakers have a much rounder sound and the seats are so comfortable!! The outside styling is also, well, more sexy! It was worth the wait. Here are a few comparison photos from the old to the new car...
First the old....
Then the new...
As well as the new car I also got myself a new phone. I no longer need the greatest, newest cell phone, but I did want t upgrade my 2 1/2 year old Galaxy S7. So I went to the phone shop hoping to pay $150 or so for a Pixel2 and hopefully keep the same contract. I would then sell my old S7 for $150 and end up with a free phone! A good plan I thought.....
When I got to the store the nice salesman told me it would be $500 for a Pixel2 with the same deal I was already on. Bugar I thought...... But then he said I could get it for free, if I paid $10 extra a month. Not really what I wanted. But then he added that there was a deal on today and I could get $15 a month off - for the entire 2 years of the contract. I did some metal maths.... $10 more, plus $15 less, free phone - That means eureka......a free phone for $5 less a month that I pay now. Was it a mistake I asked. Was there a catch I asked? Was it Christmas (or winter holidays for all you non Christians) I asked? Nope. A genuine, sounds so good there must be something wrong with it deal! I walked out with a new phone and a big smile on my old, saggy face. I then sold the S7 for $240 to a nice English bloke who lives just outside Winnipeg and the smile got bigger!
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| What my new phone looks like! Yay |
Here we go baby lovers......
BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT - BABY ALERT
There is no baby at the moment. Buffy, the mother, has taken the tiny pumpkin off to the cabin for the week for a little holiday - So, like a slightly strange Macauley Culkin, I am home alone! This means I can do all the things I want to do. Clean the oven, vacuum the floors, tidy the garden empty the bins and even cook real food. All the stuff I cant do when the 'baaaaaaaaaby' is here because she is sooo special! Bloody baby. I also get to drink beers and am currently cooking a homemade meat and potato pie with curry sauce and fat chips for my dinner!
For all of you that want to know though - The baby is just amazing. She is great. Even when screaming and poo(p)ing she is great. I wouldn't have guessed that I could fall in love with someone else other that Buffy. But I can and I have as much as Buffy has done too.
After a couple of days where she wasn't getting enough milk, we bought a pump and this helped Buffy's milk, 'come in', so now Hannah is growing fast and is over an inch bigger that when she was born and has just been weighed at 7lbs. She is sleeping pretty well - some nights we had had 6 or even 7 hours sleep. She is also strong - She can almost lift her own head and tries ti crawl when put on her tummy although she doesn't have the technique yet. When she lies on my thighs, she is able to push herself up with her legs and has nearly pushed herself off a couple of times.
Here's what you want - a few photos of Super Han....
We wondered who she looks like... some people say me, some others say she looks like Buffter.... I cant decide myself... Here's us when we were babies...
Anyway, she is doing great and definitely takes after Buffy when eating - she eats a lot!! haaha
One thing is she is always on her best behaviour - Not once yet has she been a crazy baby in front of anyone else. She sleeps, smiles and generally look damn cute. But like any normal baby, she can be a loud, screaming banshee. I needed to show you proof of this - so here it is. This is a 2 minute video, but this night the screaming went on for a full hour....
She is also really funny as well though...
Wait for it......
Cool. We made it to the end. Well done you! Now you may close your eyes and relax, safe in the knowledge that there is indeed water on Mars and that apparently an Egyptian zoo has been passing off painted donkeys as Zebras. It was in the news so must be true.
Night night.
There is no baby at the moment. Buffy, the mother, has taken the tiny pumpkin off to the cabin for the week for a little holiday - So, like a slightly strange Macauley Culkin, I am home alone! This means I can do all the things I want to do. Clean the oven, vacuum the floors, tidy the garden empty the bins and even cook real food. All the stuff I cant do when the 'baaaaaaaaaby' is here because she is sooo special! Bloody baby. I also get to drink beers and am currently cooking a homemade meat and potato pie with curry sauce and fat chips for my dinner!
For all of you that want to know though - The baby is just amazing. She is great. Even when screaming and poo(p)ing she is great. I wouldn't have guessed that I could fall in love with someone else other that Buffy. But I can and I have as much as Buffy has done too.
After a couple of days where she wasn't getting enough milk, we bought a pump and this helped Buffy's milk, 'come in', so now Hannah is growing fast and is over an inch bigger that when she was born and has just been weighed at 7lbs. She is sleeping pretty well - some nights we had had 6 or even 7 hours sleep. She is also strong - She can almost lift her own head and tries ti crawl when put on her tummy although she doesn't have the technique yet. When she lies on my thighs, she is able to push herself up with her legs and has nearly pushed herself off a couple of times.
Here's what you want - a few photos of Super Han....
 |
| Super Hands (Super Han - Get it?) |
We wondered who she looks like... some people say me, some others say she looks like Buffter.... I cant decide myself... Here's us when we were babies...
 |
| Buff |
 |
| Me - or maybe Gareth or Chris! |
One thing is she is always on her best behaviour - Not once yet has she been a crazy baby in front of anyone else. She sleeps, smiles and generally look damn cute. But like any normal baby, she can be a loud, screaming banshee. I needed to show you proof of this - so here it is. This is a 2 minute video, but this night the screaming went on for a full hour....
She is also really funny as well though...
Wait for it......
Cool. We made it to the end. Well done you! Now you may close your eyes and relax, safe in the knowledge that there is indeed water on Mars and that apparently an Egyptian zoo has been passing off painted donkeys as Zebras. It was in the news so must be true.
Night night.
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