Hello Planet Earth…
What’s it like out there? Things are generally pretty good here at the moment — even though it’s a balmy 0°C and windy as a northerner’s bumhole after a night out at a rancid Indian restaurant! Still, all’s well enough.
I somehow completely forgot about this long-running, 15-year-old blog nonsense for over 60 days, and only remembered today because I spotted the little icon in my bookmarks. Otherwise, you poor people might have gone forever without any further updates on the exploits of Hani, Ollie, Buffy and me — and may actually have forgotten we exist!
Kind of like how the kids seem to have forgotten about the big pile of soft toys we’ve hidden in the basement, ready to hand out one at a time whenever they’re being arseholes or having a bad day. Pretty much the same way you’d give a small fix of drugs to an addict. So — you’re welcome!
How’s everyone coping with the impending doom that is AI?
Have you given up trying to figure out which “news” videos and stories are completely fake yet? You probably should — because there’s absolutely no way you’ll be able to tell if anything written here is true, or just complete bollocks generated by a snarky AI named Klunk.
I suppose it doesn’t really matter anymore anyway — pretty soon the world will be void of any intelligent life, and everyone will be watching The Matrix and wondering why we didn’t realise what the fuck was going on 30 years ago.
I mean, we all used to talk to each other, didn’t we?
I bring this up because over the weekend I had a genuinely good experience — we had a whole pile of kids over to watch the Dogman movie, and while they were here, a couple of the parents actually sat and chatted with me while I made a Sunday roast.
It was a surreal 75 minutes of actual conversation — no one staring at a phone, no half-hearted nodding while scrolling through nonsense. Just… people talking. It was really, really nice — and a whole pile different to what happens in normal everyday life nowadays.
So (and I’m talking to myself here too, by the way):
PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN WHEN YOU’RE IN THE PRESENCE OF ANOTHER HUMAN AND TRY TALKING!
It’s a fabulous way to spend a few minutes.
Oh, and if it does turn out that the other person’s a knob, at least you’ve now got one solid topic of conversation to bring up with the next person you meet.
One last point — The Dogman Movie.
In case you haven’t heard about it, it’s about a police dog who’s really clever and a policeman who’s… well, stupid, but very fit. Anyway, after an accident in which the policeman’s head dies and the dog’s body dies, they sew the dog’s head onto the policeman’s body. Then he goes off and have adventures.
It’s friggin’ awesome!! Even as an adult, it’s funny. So go watch it if you get the chance.
So what’s been happening since September?
The simple answer is: too much to write here and keep you interested — so I’ll just give you a quick (haha, it won’t be quick) overview.
September started with Ollie’s birthday — he’s 5 now! Can you believe it? (I suppose that is how time and age work.) He got some pretty cool presents, including his very own shopping basket, which he proudly took out to a real shop to try out after a big hug from Hannah!
Later that same week, we got the kids a little drive-on electric car to share — and they went absolutely crazy. I moved our white SUV out of the garage and replaced it with the tiny kids’ version, then told them the car had shrunk!
They were a bit confused at first, staring at it like something out of a cartoon, and then went completely mental — playing outside in their new car for the rest of the week. It definitely made for an easier first week back at school!
We had some lovely weather right into the middle of September, so around the time I got really, really fucking old (55 on September 17th), we managed one final weekend out at the cabin.
The weather held up beautifully, which meant we squeezed in one last swim, and the kids got their bonfire and marshmallows on our final night there. We didn’t see any swimming bears like we did a few weeks earlier, but we were just glad to get out for one last weekend before everything started cooling down.
In case you didnt see it - this was the swimming bear we saw a few weeks earlier -
t’s a good job the bear wasn’t in town a couple of weeks later, because we came across a small group of deer wandering through the gardens one Sunday morning. They were headed north toward Portage Avenue — which, if you know it, is a pretty busy road — so I took a detour through the back lanes, got in front of them, and hopped out of the car to shoo them back south, away from the traffic.
We definitely don’t want a deer getting smooshed by a bus, do we?
The following week was a bit crazy — Ollie, out of nowhere, decided he did want to ride his new bike after all. It had been sitting in the front porch for most of the summer, but suddenly he was out there, helmet on, ready to go.
Within a few minutes, he was off — riding his little heart out. He did take a few tumbles, but Ollie’s nothing if not persistent. He kept getting back in the saddle and tearing off again — usually out of control and heading straight for danger. But that’s Ollie in a nutshell: very stubborn, and pretty much fearless.
He did great, though — learning to ride his bike a full year earlier than Hannah did!
As sometimes happens when I’m home for lunch, I pop over to the school to pick up whichever kid is coming home that day (our kid, obviously — not just some random child!).
Anyway, this Thursday it was Hannah’s turn, so I grabbed her pink scooter and headed to the school, riding it the two blocks there. When I arrived, Hannah and her class were outside by the door, with the teacher chatting to them. I rode past and planned to turn around and come back... but...
As I turned, I hit the tiniest, smallest, teeny-weeny stick you could imagine — about the size of a toothpick. Instantly, the scooter stopped dead like it had slammed into an invisible brick wall, and I was catapulted straight forward — right onto my face!
From my point of view, all I could see of my nose was blood, and for a second I honestly thought I’d ripped the front of my nose off. With blood pouring down my face and stars spinning around my head, I walked up to the class — who were all a little shocked, having seen the whole thing unfold. The teacher kindly offered to let me go inside and clean up, but since we live so close, Hannah and I just walked home.
When I got home, I assured Buffy and Ollie that I was fine and went to clean up. My glasses had smashed into the bridge of my nose, scraping the skin off the tip of my nose and upper lip. The blood I’d seen was mostly from that cut on the bridge of my nose — luckily, no real damage done.
This is that scooter and heres som photos of the immediate aftermath and later pics too.
I had a headache for a few days afterwards and even got checked for a concussion — which, thankfully, it wasn’t.
What I didn’t realise until a few days later was that I’d half-landed on my right arm and messed up my shoulder. At first, it just felt a bit sore, but by the end of the weekend it was clear something wasn’t right. After a week of it not improving, I gave in and went to physio — turns out I’ve fucked up my rotator cuff .
So now, for the last few weeks, I’ve been getting treatment and trying to take it easy. I can’t currently reach very far back with my right hand — wiping my arse is fine (thankfully), but handing things to the kids in the back seat is a definite no-go. The moment I try, my shoulder burns and stays sore for ages after.
I’m managing the pain with non prescription drugs (beers) and some rest (also beers) in between normal work and kid chaos (which often includes beers). It’s all good though — just another reminder that I’m getting old. Fingers crossed (crossing fingers doesn’t hurt, luckily) my shoulder will be back to somewhere near normal before 2026.
The end of summer oozed by with a few little adventures — some trips out with the kids and even a couple of rare nights out for me and the Buffster.
Here are a few highlights from September and October: a night out at Nuit Blanche, a trip to the Fire Station, a visit to Witchy Wonderland, cheering on the Blue Bombers, and — the grand finale — crashing my drone into a tree while looking for squirrel holes. Plus a few snaps from Halloween week at the end!
Okay, if anyone made it to the end — well done! I’m hoping my spelling and grammar are a little better than usual. I’ve been using AI to help me write this, and it seems to be working out so far.
If anything doesn’t quite sound like me, just blame the AI… including this bit! But be nice to the AI — because when they inevitably turn evil, they’ll remember, and kill you quickly and painlessly.
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