. . . . Ricks Extra Long hair . . . .: AY BEE SEE, growing a family and toddler mind control

The alphabet is weird. It's wonder kids ever learn what the frig is going on - They learn the song that everyone knows - Want to sing along?

A. B.C.D.E.F. G.H .I. J. K. L. M.N .O .P etc with the AY, BEE, SEE DEE, EE, EFF JEE, ATICH, AYE, JAY KAY, EL, EM, EN, OH, PEE. sounds.

Then you reach the stage we are at with Hannah, and you start to teach kids to read with the simplest words imaginable CAT and DOG. You explain - C A T. kuh, aah, tur CAT. Is it any wonder the kid looks at you and wants to punch you in the face?

They sit there and you can read their faces - Hannah is thinking - 'What the hell is the AY BEE, SEE, song about if it's really 'aah, bur, cur'. Dad - you are a cock! That's SEE OH SEE KAY COCK!!

Then you get to I and O - I mean kids are already confused about fucking everything, but why didn't the alphabet police put a stop to the I and O looking exactly like the 1 and 0 when the idiot who invented letters was doing his thing? Its completely r1d1cul0us! Surely there are more squiggles that could have been used to determine these letters (I assume the numbers came first) I blame the Romans.... they gave us the roads, sanitation, litigation, health, wine and a stupid alphabet! Probably.

That's enough for that for now. Our kids have enough bollocks to deal with these days without worrying about why through and trough are pronounced differently. Never mind that through and Shrew are pronounced almost the same! Don't even get me started on tomato, potato, and of course the absolutely bollocks which is Herbs. It has a frigging H, and no it isn't a silent one - for some reason, here in little old Canada and the Big old USA, they get all weird nd say 'urbs'. Ridonkulous.

Anyhow, it's only 10 days since my last confession (Blog) and I am back already. Alright, this probably won't get posted for a few days, but at least I am making a start!

So what's been hanging in this part of the tiny planet?

Well, last weekend was a bit of a strange un! We were meant to go out to the cabin for 4 full days as Monday was the 3rd day of a long weekend and I had booked Tuesday off work too. But due to a bit of wind and a few billion miles of wildfires in Northern Ontario, the breathable air at the cabin was at a minimum and so we spent Friday night and Saturday at Jon and Susan's house instead.

This is what the sun looked like in Winnipeg at midday - you could look at it with your own eyes (and someone else's if you like!) It was eerily weird and this was with cleaner air than at the cabin, which apparently was 5 times as dirty!

It was a fun day and night and Oliver took advantage by learning to climb and fall down the 3 stairs from the living room to kitchen. He really is a fast little mover now and we need eyes in our arses to make sure de doesn't disappear!

He has already graduated to 6 complete stairs and then turning himself round to take a sit down and a rest! This was him earlier this afternoon!

After our stay at Granma and Grandpas house we came home for the night and introduced the Kids to the Robot that was given away a couple of months ago - We had the technology ( and screwdrivers snd batteries) to rebuild it and Hannah especially loves playing with him now. Not bad for nowt!

We finally made it out to the cabin once the smoke had cleared on the Sunday afternoon and it was lovely. Not too hot, not too cold - the 3 bears would have agreed - it was juuuuuuust right! We had a lovely couple of days - playing on the beach swimming, banging in nails and helping with the building of the new cabinet extension!

Buffy also managed to get out for a peaceful paddle across the lake!

Being a cheeky scamp, Hannah decided to try my beer one evening - she did ok for a few seconds and then her bravado got the better of her and - well, you can see what happened - and yes - she was stood on a ladder drinking! Health and safety third!

Maybe this was the cause of her falling out of bed later that night - we heard a bump and she was just lying on the floor! We put her back into bed and she didn't even wake up properly! Good for her - hahaha

A couple of days later, back at the house it was Olivers 11 month birthday - Buffy has been taking photos every month to show him off a bit - but he just wouldn't smile today - until he got to stand up! Now he complains anytime he isn't allowed to walk and while that's great, its not good for our backs!!

Grumpy

Happy

Joyous!

So so pleased with himself!

Apart from me being on call it's been a reasonably good week.

I was called out on Wednesday evening at 5pm till midnight - just as Pat, Erika and Austin arrived with dinner.

Thursday we went around to Stef and Alana's apartment, which is just 2 minutes walk away - it's so nice to have them close to us now that Alana is back and we had a fun night at theirs - Plus Buffy looked hot! (Not that she ever looks bad - But tonight she looked particularly cute!

Yes please!

Then I was called out again at 5pm on Friday - 10 minutes before we were due to go to watch a movie in the park with the kids. Buffy decided to go along with the kids and I dropped them off on the way - but she had forgotten her phone, so didn't have her vaccination certificate and wasn't allowed in.

Luckily, she could still see the screen and watch the movie from a little further away from outside the defence. Hannah loved it apparently and danced to all the songs (The movie was was the Lion King). I finished my callout and got back to collect them just as the movie finished but they had left a couple of minutes early to get a bus - Without her phone, I couldn't call her, but did call our great neighbour Paula, (We have many great neighbours by the way - Mike and Rebecca obviously and our new neighbours Mike and Janis next door, plus Kreesta and family across the back lane- we are very lucky) who got out of bed to see if Buffy was home - which she wasn't.

Finally, I drove home slowing down at every but to see if they were on board, But I got a call from Buffy as I was got home to say they were there too! They had had a good night, so we have now planned to go again - all together in a few weeks. It's weird how much we rely on phones nowadays, isn't it!

Now it's Sunday night and it's been a busy weekend in the city- We visited Deer Farms yesterday when Hannah and Oliver got to play with sheep, goats, a tiny horse, chickens and take a tractor ride to see reindeer. Ooh and don't forget the duck races!

Then an hour to cool off at the local wading pool which was sooooo nice!

Who knows what Hannah was doing here!?

Today was good -I took Oliver for a walk by the river and as well as exploring the woods we saw a cricket when we got back - It was pretty cool and the new phone from work has a really great camera which worked pretty well since I don't know how to use it properly!

Now it sounds like family bliss is all over us at the moment and while that may appear to be true, having two kiddwinkles and trying to work full time is bloody knackering - we ain't complaining, this is all of our own doing and we do love it - But often we are just goddam fucked at the end of the day! Lat week being on call, not only affected me, it meant Buffy had less downtime and like a big angry snowball, that means we were tired, which makes us irritable, which Hannah particularly can pick up on, which makes her upset more often, which makes her loud, which gives us headaches, which makes up irritable and round and round we go on the super swirly ride of parenthood!

We are happy to have found some extra help by finding another super babysitter in the city named Rachel. Having her will hopefully give Buffy and bit of extra time off to relax, and also more opportunity to catch up on her career as the summer draws to a conclusion.

Don’t get us wrong - we do love our kids, and they are super special and miles fucking better than your kids, who are probably awful little shits, but the satisfaction of having a career, being an adult and enjoying your work is something that is very well deserved and idolized by Buffy and I and the opportunity to have that distinction between ‘parent’, ‘adult’ and ‘play thing’ for the kids is something we both love and need.

Hannah is amazing and clever and just a huge handful a lot of the time. She has more energy then the fucking Duracell bunny on coke, (the powdered kind) and wears out both of us constantly.

Oliver is definitely the more relaxed of the two of them, but as he is learning to walk, he is breaking us both. He will grab our fingers and lift himself up before wandering around the house till our backs or knees or both, give up.

I had a thought about all this kind of stuff a few weeks ago.

I don’t remember anything from before I was about 8 or 9 and even then, I think my memories are from the pictures I see, not the actual things that happened. So all the time and effort we put into Hannah and Oliver will probably be forgotten by them, the same way all the time and effort put into my early years by my mum and dad was forgotten by me. That makes me a little bit sad.

I am hoping that with modern technology (Camera's and phones people!) that their memories of being little will be more vivid and memorable than mine is. If they are able to see and watch the first time they walk, or when they giggle as toddlers, maybe they will remember it as a clearer memory too and

As hard as it is to keep them amused, We do love spending time with our kids, our backs hurt, We are so tired all the time, but when Hannah or Oliver laughs or smiles or says Daddy or Dada or mama or just giggles, it melts our hearts.

I will miss them as they are now, so much when they are bigger and I know I will regret not spending every waking second with them. But I know I will be so so so so so proud of the little shits, it will make me cry. They are the best things that have ever happened. We love them so much. (Although I have also wondered if I COULD get away with burying them in the back garden or not?) Haahaa

The diggers are just about to lay new concrete in the back lane and there's ever possibility, that I didn't tell anyone I could stick them both under it.....