Something different

It takes so long sometimes to write this garbage, that I thought I would try a different method for a change. So instead of reading about what's going on, scroll down and see a video of me with my face and my head and everything telling you about all that stuff instead. It also means you get to see and hear ME - which is a right fucking bonus aint it!

I know sometimes you can't listen to something cos of where you are, so if you are on the bog, or on a bus, or on the bog on a bus, and don't want to hear my dulcet tones then I have a transcription underneath the video which will probably make no sense. Read that and then finish yer big poo or your bus journey in peace!

There's also a few pics and videos of stuff later. 

Let me know what you think and if I should do this again next time or spend 3 hours typing nonsense instead.

Merry Crimbo everyone!

Here's some pics and other vids.... Some Christmas tree stuff, some snowmen (one with a big stick penis) Hannah skating on a friend's back door rink and Hannah minus her two front teeth, which fell out! Oh yeah and the usual photos of me on a winter run - enjoy.

Here's the transcript. I couldn't be arsed checking out for mistakes, so enjoy the chaos... 

TRANSCRIPT

well hello there I thought I'd try something different this month so instead of writing all this down I'm going to like do it to camera and then yeah anyway I explained all that anyway if you read to start the Blog um I'm just looking through what we did in the last few weeks um got Christmas tree show you that when we go downstairs in a minute lots of snow outside we'll take you outside and look at the snow as well oh what else have we got uh some pictures of the kids I'll post some of them built a snowman we actually built two snowman one of them which had a penis that was pretty fun um and then we had hann's little concert at school as well that was good the other day um it's pretty cold at the moment um the kids are being great we're trying something different with the kids at the moment what we're doing is um basically giving them a little bit more leeway I've found myself shouting at the kids a lot in the last few months and it's starting to to annoy me and that turning into my dad a little bit um you know with his anger issues that he used to have when we were kids but um what I've tried to do is try to keep a bit more mellow now and oh my eyes went funny then oh that's weird trying to keep a bit more mellow yeah and so when the kids say I just one more thing or but I've just got to do this we let them do that one thing um and they going to be happy with that and I haven't really shouted them in like three or four days which is is amazing so um everything seems to be going well with the kids they they're out at the museum at the moment they got a day of school so I'm at work at home this is the office at home they cool United pictures that Bry bought me behind me there we go cool so um I think what I'm going to do I'll show you around the house a little bit tell you a few things about what we're doing um yeah and then I'll post this later and you if you can't if you're on a bus or anything you better read this CU I I do a transcript but um yeah let's have a look around and see what what's going on the outs so like say this is my office oh this in that corner there is where she does all the craft so that's why there's loading boxes and stuff in there um take you in here so this is our bathroom we're getting the bathroom done next month we're going on holiday and when we're away we're getting a plumber in to get the bathroom done so we got all the boxes for the stuff for the bathroom we go to the tippy top this is the big tippy top so you see you got a new sink on the floor this is the new vanity and cupboard for the wall and yeah so that's going going to get done you look outside you can see it's pretty snowy we'll go out there in a minute show you a couple of things it was minus 42 yesterday I went for a run it was nice I post a picture of my uh you probably might have seen it on Facebook but all the eyes are all Frozen and stuff so uh yeah we go down the stairs that's the cool pictures on the wall there's Ollie me honey and buff okay kids have been having a dance party this morning so house is a bit of a mess that's a little trampoline that they've made yeah so uh what else has been happening I'm going to put my hat on cuz it's cold outside so need a hat need the jacket there we go we'll take you out through the garage cuz uh we're getting a new garage door as well supposed to have got a new garage door on Thursday this week but um that was yesterday and I was at work and the garage dog guy rang me and said I'm just putting a boots somebody the garage door guy rang me and said uh is it okay if we don't do it today cuz it's freezing and I said yes yes you don't need to come inside let's go work outside at my house so he's actually going to come on Sunday instead to fix our Gary's door so we' got this big bodge of a strap so basically the Springs broke there's the Springs the old garage door is about 40 years old it's toilet and it's never been very good so um what I have to do now is I pull this I've press the button here to open the door and then I take the weight of the G's door like the spring supposed to like this and basically help it open so that's how we open our guys door at the moment once it's up it's okay and then you do the same when you lower it down you take the weight and yeah so this is outside yeah it's a bit cold aboutus 25 today and it's getting warm at the weekend so at the weekend I'm going to start building this this is going to be another ice tower I didn't do one last year cuz we were moving but uh we're going to do one this year as you can see the path's nice and clean that's because I've got a new toy my new toy is a bit of a mess in the garage because of the garage door being done that's my new toy little snow blower yes I'm not going to get out there's no no snow to blow at the moment but you're going to build all this at the weekend maybe into a big tower and then in the garden out here you're going to uh build a big slide for the kid so they can slide a little bit in the garden the swings covered in snow with trampoline way yeah it's a bit chilly got some decorations on the tree outside and just over there we're going to put a tower over there so I'll send some pictures of that once I do it but it's quite a nice sunny day see the smoke coming out with a chimney over there somewhere there you go that's pretty cool I'm going back to sight cuz my right hand ising freezing had an ice we got some icicles up there that's cool isn't it have to knock them off just up there I'll get them off in a bit I got a big stick that use for getting snow off the roof I can just whack it with those and get the ice pools off but yeah so that's pretty much it oh look at this one this it's frozen so much it's frozen so much it's burst with the B look at that so that's solid solid as a rock yeah so I go through about 10 of those a year oh back into the garage and uh back to work I think probably have to close the G door so let's do this again grab me strap press the button oh there we go just give it a little bit of otherwise it just fall down and probably break then we're there we go that can stay there so that's it bit of a different way to do things hope you enjoyed it and uh I'll post some more photos down here maybe couple of videos out I don't know. Thanks, see you. Bye.

Tyson, dancing and wheres the snow?

Yes, I am going to compare myself to Mike Tyson today.

Did you see the Mike Tyson fight? (It's always the Mike Tyson fight, not the other boxer) Anyway, I sat and watched it and sad as it was to see the boxing legend look old and slow and just tired -  it actually made me feel so good! You see Mike Tyson was one of the fittest and strongest boxers of all time and he has the time, the know how, and the support to get himself fit and back in the ring to fight against someone much, much younger. 

I on the other hand do not have any of that and was never that fit. Yet, even with all the backup Iron Mike has he still looked 58 years old, his body still looked slow and he was still out of breath after a couple of short 2 minute rounds. Now I am 54 years old and after a full days work every day I still come home to someone much younger than me (No I don't mean Buffy this time!)  I come home to find two crazy kids who want to be picked up and swung around, who want to dance jump, run and have piggy back rides, shoulder carries and all sorts of other kid stuff. They still also want their dinner making, and need to pee at 3am at which point we have to come and help them . 

If you add my kids heights together you get just under 7 feet, which is actually about a foot taller than Jake Paul, so maybe I have it harder than Iron Mike did last week. I didnt see Jake Paul jumping up and down on Iron Mikes stomach while someone else was standing on his head - that happens regularly to me. Also, my kids have four arms not two, so I get twice as many punches and hits! I look around at the other dads picking their kids up from school and I am the oldest dad there - Yes there are older Grandads, but they can go home and have a lazy lie-in every night if they want. Now, I am not complaining, I aM just stating that Iron Mike did an amazing job to get back in the ring after 20 years and it made me feel a little better about just how much I ache sometimes and how tired I get! Thanks Mike!  No go have a nap!

Winter is approaching fast. Its been a chilly cold rainy day today 0 just 4 deg celsius, but for this time of year that's great for me - Usually we are well below zero by now and have had snow on the ground for a couple of weeks at least. So this is bliss! It is coming though - here's the forecast for the next couple of weeks...

We did manage to get through Halloween really nicely this year. We had a trip out to the Red River exhibition area just outside town, with some mates and their kids on a wonderful sunny evening and saw all the scarey stuff that was set up there as well as riding the rides with the kids and their friends.

Halloween itself was a  was a lovely evening and the kids stayed up late. They had so much candy this year that they came home we had a fire in the front yard while the kids started giving their own candy back out to other kids who were still out trick and treating - I was so proud of them both for doing that!

One bad thing that happened that last month was the car breaking down! It wouldnt start and had to go to the garage for a week to get the dashboard key antenna replaced as well as the IBU. In simple terms the dashboard antenna recognises the key and turns off the immobiliser. But for some reason, for the 2nd time this year, it failed and the car would not start. It's a right pain in the arse. Luckily we are members of the local Peg City car co-op, so it's easy and relatively cheap to get a small car to use whenever we want, but it still cost us a couple of hundred dollars over the week to get to work and do everything we need to do. I just hope it doesnt fail again!  

We also had more visitors in our backyard - Not some dodgy robbing bastard this tine but what looks to me like a Coyote - It could also be a fox, but to me the colours are wrong...what do you think?

There have been loads of other things going in recently too - taking the kids to the remembrance day at the local military armory, gymnastics lessons every Friday evening at which the kids have been excelling, dropping the Halloween pumpkins off a car park roof, play dates with the kids from school - including late night trampoline jumping, which at this time of year s unheard of! Oh, yeah and lots and lots of dancing - Both kids at the moment just love to put on some music and dance around the front room or on the sofa as well as having Buffy playing her guitar and singing their favourite songs for them as they dance along - here are some highlights of all that before I finish...

 

Even though there is no snow, the kids are starting to get into the festive mood. We started this by taking in the Santa parade last weekend. Again, because of the weather it was much, much nicer than it can be, and the kids really enjoyed it, getting even more free candy and watching the floats and all the people in costumes wander past. They had a great time! But just how much Candy does one kid need  - i am surprised when they actually eat proper food nowadays!

Well, I best go do some work instead of this  - so enjoy your weekend and I'll be back next month!

Oooh, before I go...I literally just got sent this from Buffy - I got Ollie a new orange fleece earlier today.... I think he likes, it. Seeya!

Snowflakes heartbreaks and laughing till you pee yourself!

A continuance of the shorter and more concise entries.....

October is here, and with that comes the end of another summer. It's a sad feeling, because it has been a good one - even with the kids often being a pain in the arse, the good has far outweighed the bad. So it's sad to think that warm sunny afternoons are now 4 to 6 months away again. We will have a good winter though - there is lots to do here, and we are planning a family holiday to Mexico again in February to get away and out of the bone-chilling temperatures for a week or so at least. 

It also brings snowflakes - lots of them. But even in that aspect of life, we are making life easier for ourselves this year, with a new addition to the family - This new addition is a lovely medium-sized snowblower. It should help with the backaches that come from clearing snow by hand. It was on special offer in early September and I did not feel daft buying a snowblower on what was a 30-degree+ summer evening!

One of Ollie's favourite songs is also called Snowflakes and there is just something that makes me joyous but also really, really sad when I hear the song. This is it...

I think there are several factors in play here that just tug at my heart strings..

One is that the kid's singing voice reminds me so much of how Ollie has spoken for the last year or so - a real cute little kids voice - so cute you just want to pick up the kids, swing them round and give them a huge big hug. 

Ollie loves this little song right now, but I know that soon he will grow out of it, and I don't want that to happen. Because my little boy will turn into a big boy, and that big boy might not want hugs and snuggles. He won't hug onto my leg when he stands beside me anymore. He won't want to just giggle and laugh as he runs round and round on the trampoline. Not only that, but he will stop the silly, 'Mummy, daddy It's morning time' shout from his bed every morning when the little sun appears on the clock.  

It's not just Ollie either - Hannah, who also loves the song, will no longer laugh her head off at silly things like 'Sail Goat', in her chickadee magazine. She would almost pee herself laughing when we chat about a house cat being 'The size of a house'. She won't want to stand on my feet as I walk, so she can be a robot, and she won't want to piggyback down the stairs anymore. 

The infamous Sail Goat

In short, this song reminds me of just how special our kids are right now. Every single new morning that comes around, I am already missing them as they were yesterday. They have been my best pals for the past 4 and 6 years and soon, they will go out and find their own best pals. Buffy and I will just become parents to older kids, like every other parent has done in the past. I hope we can still be 'friends'. 

Its sad though. In fact its heart-wrenching - I absolutely love our kids so so so much as they are - even with all the shouting and screaming and other shit that surrounds every day. There are no words to describe how it feels when they run and hug me, or when I sneak in to their room every night to move Ollie back onto his bed properly, tuck Hannah into her blankets and kiss them both goodnight as they sleep. 

I know they have to grow up, its just what happens, but I just wish we could all slow down a little and that things would stay as they are for a while longer.

The last few weeks have been pretty up and down - I had an illness that kept me off work for a day and in bed for 2 or 3 days. Buffy was absolutely great - taking the kids out for the day on a weekend so that I could get some rest. I really needed it too, but it still took me a week to get over it. The Dr said it was probably a bout of flu. Getting older is shit. Every time I get ill it seems to last longer than the time. 

The kids were also great though, being quiet and not asking me to do too much with them. Luckily, it looks like I didnt pass it onto anyone else, although Ollie does have a snotty nose at the moment, he doesnt appear to be ill. 

We did enjoy the last few nice days of summer - getting out to the park a few times, doing science experiments in the garden - including the bottle rocket, and we had a couple of late nights out downtown ate Nuit Blanche - the nighttime festival of lights and weird music and stuff - it has all been good and the kids have (mostly) been great too.

One of the best things about having kids is being able to do stupid thing and act like a kid all over again. Currently, if I drop off Hannah at school half of her class shouts at me that I pooped my pants because of one small silly joke Hannah made a week or two ago - I play along and pretend I have pooped and Hannah and all her classmates laugh and make jokes. I really don't mind being the butt of jokes if it helps the kids make friends and have fun. I even told them of when I wore a diaper because I ate Mexican food on holiday! 

Another thing we do a lot of is have fun and laugh with the kids. Sometimes, obviously the kids are just dicks,, but It happens pretty often that Hannah or Ollie are laughing so much that they literally run to the bathroom before they pee themselves. Hannah's 'Sail Goat' joke is one example of that. Another was when I discovered a website where you can make a subject in a photo 'dance' - just input a photo, make it into a shape with arms and legs and then click go!

I first did this with Hannah and Ollie , with drawings and then photos of Hannah and Ollie themselves before moving on to soft toys, a photo of the toilet and a poop picture. These are a few of the results... You can just imagine the kids almost wetting themselves as they watched the toilet and poop dance!!

This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada and a lot of people get quite 'open' with the thanks they like to be thankful for. That's fine, I don't mind, it's quite a Canadian thing to do. There is a more English way to think about things, though.... I call it the 'Thank Fuck'. 

It's kind of thanksgiving in reverse - Instead of being thankful for the good shit, you be mindful that the bad shit didnt happen. 

So....

'Thank Fuck my kids were happily asleep by 9pm tonight'

'Thank fuck I remembered to buy booze at the liquor mart this evening'

'Thank fuck Hannah has not had a big breakdown in over a week'

'Thank fuck I got on that bus in New Zealand 14 and a half years ago'

'Thank fuck the garage door didn't fall off'

and finally

'Thank fuck I am sitting in a warm house, with a smile on my face, while my crazy  kids sleep upstairs dreaming about a huge rocket taking off and landing early tomorrow morning while my wonderful wife and 3rd best friend (Me and the kid are just too childish together) is out with her buddies having a nice social evening. Its all pretty fucking good. 

Thanks everyone!

 

Short sweet, but not quite straight to the point

I have to be honest with myself and with you lot. 

It's getting increasingly harder and harder to keep this blog up to date. 

In the beginning, sitting on a bus for endless hours and hours as I travelled across the globe, it was easy. Even later when it was just me travelling, there was always time EVERY DAY, to sit down and write for half an hour. It was fun, tiring and emotional, but I always had time. Now though, other things are fun, tiring and emotional and those things are now 4 and 6 years old. They are not doing it on purpose, but they are far more important and much more fun, tiring and emotional than sitting down to write this. 

I will continue to do the blog, though, but I will endeavour to keep it a little shorter and easier on myself. That way I will hopefully be able to put my full range of powers into two little bell ends who dominate the ongoing life of Buffy and me. 

September this year has been and continues to be great but full of stuff and memories. It's 10 years ago today since Mum died and it's my 54th birthday tomorrow. Ollie turned 4 2 weeks ago and both kids are now in school - Hannah in grade 1 and Ollie in Nursery. The world is turning at such a pace that my head spins with what we do every week and what is coming up the next.  As mentioned above, it is all fun, tiring and emotional, but we plod on. 

We plod on as the kids scream at us and call us mean.

We plod on as they dance and sing in a 'show' but refuse to let us take videos (We sneak the odd one in)

We plod on as they snuggle us in bed and then scream as we leave 

We plod on as they eat everything we put in front of them and still say they are hungry. 

We plod on as they ask 10 billion questions without ever listening to the 10 billion answers we give. 

They are emotional wrecks, as are we - But they are, in my opinion, the most important and greatest living things ever to have existed. They are the absolute best. 

At the same time as loving them endlessly, I want to pull out their brains through their little ears and replace it with a working pile of mush that makes sense. Kids are just messed up and crazy and it's no wonder that they need 10 hours of sleep a night, because as a fully grown adult, just watching these little tornadoes makes me tired. 

But there are small, significant changes afoot. - For example, Hannah asked about water and steam a week ago, and we ended up waffling about molecules and heat. A few days later she came out with a proper example of molecules about 'the floor is lava'. It was like listening to a TV scientist, and we were not amazed, because she can be brilliant in between the emotional flip-flopping.

Ollie now knows the words to some classic rock and pop music and will often dance and sing with more rhythm in his little arms and legs, than I have ever had. It would not surprise me to see him on stage in 20 years as a professional dancer, - he is that good. But then he drops his pants and pretends to poop on a Lego house. Its what a 4-year old prodigy is supposed to do to remind you not to take life too seriously. 

This past few weeks has been full on - We took a Holiday to try and find something like I had as a kid. We wanted somewhere where the kids could play and meet other kids. So we searched and found a place called Rubber Ducky Resort - Just an hour north of the city. It reminded me so much of family holidays when I was a kid. A little resort with entertainment, swimming pools, arcade games, ice cream, somewhere to eat and actual things to. I love camping with the kids but after a day in the wilderness they get bored - and then they get crazy! So this was wonderful. 

We spent a lovely 4 days and nights, swimming and playing in the pools, and visiting the little farm with goats, horses and chickens. We danced at the kids glow stick party and watched an amazing golf cart glow parade in the dark. The kids stayed up late to watch the stars and we drew patterns with flashlights and glow sticks  Then they slept in the next morning. It gave me such nostalgia for my own childhood, I can't describe how nice it felt.  It was our first real holiday in Manitoba where we diddidn'tnt have to try to find something for the kids to do. There was so much fun, whether it was being followed round the whole campsite by 3 baby ducks or riding the little train - 3 times a day - just because. We will be going back next year  - the kids demand it!! 

  

There is so much to tell I cacan'tnt do it justice. 

We also did the exact opposite a couple of weeks later. We took the kids on an overnight canoe trip from the cabin and camped out in the wilderness. 

It was only 1 night but they love love loved it! We set out in the afternoon from the cabin and canoed about an hour to a small rocky outcrop that is a well-known 'wilderness' campsite. We set up two tents and spend a lovely evening with the kids doing a little treasure hunt and eating a boil in the bag dinner before the sun started to fall. Then I got to sit on a log, with the kids and just watch the most wonderful sunset. It was delightful. After a nice bonfire we put the kids to bed and then enjoyed a beer or two the warm bug free evening. It was peaceful and calm and as it was the last part of a crazy August we went to bed tired but happy. 

Back at home we added a saucer swing to the tree in thw garden - another thing to wear the kids out, and they have been playing hard on it. It was a bit of a faff as the first one we got had the bolts missing, so we had to order a replacement and wait a week, but once it was up the kids were so excited! When we had some kids round for Ollies birthday there were 5 kids riding it and it could have taken more! We can also use it as a kid of hammock for us adults when the kids are not about - a great investment!

You know what - I am going to leave it there for tonight. I hope you enjoyed the shorter read - there is so so so much more I could have written as it's been a crazy good and busy time. 

I will add some more pics and maybe a video or two after this if you want to take a look. 

There is Ollies 4th birthday jump shot on eth trampoline which is amazing! 

We also took the kids out for a summer drink in a beer garden and to a show to see Al Simmons.

Ollie and Hannah had their first proper haircuts from a proper hairdresser

I also created a combined photo showing Ollie and Hannah both on their first Nursery day, two years apart in front of their school sign. I love that photo. Its all below!

See you soon!